Enlargement vs. Diminishment
Making decisions is hard. Especially life-altering decisions like having children, getting married, moving
to a new place, taking a new job, or anything else that disrupts the comfort of our created lives.
Very often, in these decisions, we use ineffective or misguided heuristics. We are basing decisions on
happiness, reputation, comfort and security.
Today, I offer you different criteria. Instead of using the guiding forces above, ask this simple question.
"Will this enlarge or diminish me?"
Today, we will dive into that framework and better understand how to use it as a guiding principle.
Today, you will get:
1. How to ego's quest for security influences decisions
2. The necessity of doubt
3. Why enlargement vs. diminishment is such a valuable decision making framework
Decisions Based on Security & Comfort
One of the ego's primary roles is to create a feeling of security and comfort in your life. It does this by
convincing you that you have control of the unconrtollable
The ego's seductive ways make you believe you can accurately predict every twist and turn the Fates
have in store.
Unfortunately, this is an illusion.
If you do not recognize this, you are continually bound by the ego's defense mechanisms displayed
through avoidance, denial, and conformity.
Stepping into a more conscious life means recognizing the ego for what it is and acknowledging how
you feed this futile drive for ego security.
Moving beyond this paradigm requires letting go and entertaining more fear and doubt than is typically
comfortable.
But when you consciously say to your ego, "Okay, Sergeant Security, okay, Deputy Comfort, I
appreciate your help, but I'm ready to meet the Mistress of Doubt," things become easier.
Meeting the Mistress of Doubt
Doubt is a necessary fuel for change and, therefore, growth.
When doubt enters the picture, our long-held ego-based ideas are subjected to the actual test of their
validity.
They are confronted by the possibility that perhaps we don't know.
We get to ask ourselves the questions we were previously afraid to ask because doubting made the ego
uncomfortable.
We may ask,
"What actually makes me happy? Is it the continued acting out of my conditioning?"
Or
"Have I made decisions for me, from my soul? Or for my reputation? The pursuit of happiness?
My familial obligations and expectations?
Any time we come into contact with these questions. The ego is forced to reconcile with what it believes
to be true and perhaps entertain some doubt.
We have freed up some of that psychic energy and can channel that into growth.
A New Paradigm of Decision Making
So, let's throw out the faulty, ego-based notion that we can outwit Fate to ensure happiness, security,
and comfort.
And replace it with a more realistic and grounded metric: Meaning.
Instead of asking, "Will this make me happy?"
We ask, "Will this bring me closer to who I want to be? Will it provide meaning over the long
haul?"
The Ultimate Question, "Will This Enlarge or Diminish Me?"
Jungian analyst, James Hollis gives us this beautiful heuristic for decision making,
This is the ultimate question because we’re terrible at predicting what will make us happy.
The happiness question quickly gets bogged down in our narrow preferences for security and control.
But the enlargement question elicits a more profound, intuitive response.
You tend to know whether leaving or remaining in a relationship or a job, though it might bring short-
term comfort, would mean cheating yourself of growth.
You know if the security provided by your current job is suffocating your Soul and requiring you to
sacrifice the larger dreams your heart desires.
Enlargement will often require discomfort, tons of doubt, and a fear of the unknown, but these feelings
are a requirement for growth.
Diminishment will keep you small, safe, comfortable, and stagnant.
So the next time you have a big decision to make. Pause. Check-in with your heart and Soul, and see
which path will enlarge you.
Once you identify that, see if you can be brave and go for it. Your Soul will thank you, and you will
become the light you want to see in the world.
We send a newsletter out regularly. If you are interested in receiving this in your inbox, please submit your email to subscribe!
Comentarios