Rethinking Growth

We often believe growth must come through struggle, overwhelm, and force—that we must push ourselves to the edge to transform. But not all growth requires suffering.

Look at nature. Trees don’t grow because they are overwhelmed; they grow because the conditions are right. They have deep roots, nourishment, stability, and time. If a tree is deprived of these, it doesn’t grow faster by force—it withers.

Personal growth works the same way. We don’t need to break ourselves open to transform; we need to create the conditions for growth to happen naturally. When we do, our system knows exactly what to do.

The Importance of Integration

Transformation doesn’t happen in a single session, a singular moment, or a fleeting epiphany. It happens in how we integrate these insights into our daily lives.

A tree doesn’t become ancient and expansive overnight. You can’t transplant a hundred-year-old tree into your yard. If you want that kind of majesty in your life, you must plant the seed, tend to it, and create the right conditions for it to thrive.

The same is true for our personal and emotional growth. No external force can do the work for us. The medicine, the therapy, the insights—they are doorways. But we are the ones who must walk through them.

I just returned from a beautiful weekend of meditation, medicine, and community, and a few ringing truths are echoing in my mind and heart as I step into this weekend:

1. You always have a choice. You don’t have to hold on to ways of being that no longer serve you.

2. There is always enough. Hoarding, clinging, and grasping come from a place of scarcity and fear. The more you engage in them, the more you reinforce fear itself.

3. Fear (hate) and love are two sides of the same coin. When you hate something, you feed it, ensuring its continued existence. When you Love it, you allow it to dissipate and transform.

4. The body always knows. Your body holds the wisdom you need—it will tell you everything about your current state if you learn to listen.

5. It’s all going to be okay. Nothing is truly unprecedented. We’ve been here before, and we will be here again. Love yourself, love your neighbor, and trust that it will be okay.